Copyright © 2017 Amo Jones
This book is a work of fiction. Names and characters are the product of the author’s imagination and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead is entirely coincidental.
This eBook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This eBook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this eBook with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this eBook and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.
Note: This story is not suitable for persons under the age of 18.
*Potential triggers lie within this book.
**If the word “fuck” offends you, please don’t read this book.
Cover: Jay Aheer from Simply Defined Art
Interior graphics and formatting: Champagne Formats
Editing: Kayla Robichaux from Hot Tree Editing
&
Barbra Hoover from Hot Tree Editing.
Table of Contents
TITLE PAGE
COPYRIGHT
DEDICATION
RAZING GRACE: PART 1
PROLOGUE
ONE
TWO
THREE
FOUR
FIVE
SIX
SEVEN
EIGHT
NINE
TEN
ELEVEN
TWELVE
THIRTEEN
FOURTEEN
FIFTEEN
SIXTEEN
SEVENTEEN
EIGHTEEN
NINETEEN
TWENTY
TWENTY-ONE
TWENTY-TWO
TWENTY-THREE
TWENTY-FOUR
TWENTY-FIVE
TWENTY-SIX
TWENTY-SEVEN
TWENTY-EIGHT
TWENTY-NINE
THIRTY
THIRTY-ONE
THIRTY-TWO
THIRTY-THREE
THIRTY-FOUR
THIRTY-FIVE
THIRTY-SIX
THIRTY-SEVEN
THIRTY-EIGHT
THIRTY-NINE
FORTY
FORTY-ONE
FORTY-TWO
EPILOGUE
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
OTHER BOOKS
To fucked up love stories and the demons that inspire them.
Previously
One hour earlier
I PACE AROUND THE KITCHEN, tightly wrapping my cardigan around myself. Raze has been gone for three hours. Three hours is surely enough time.
What’s taking them so long? They took enough men to end the war in Iraq, so why the fucking around?
I pause my thoughts, listening closely to the sounds. The house is usually always a little noisy. There’s always some sort of sound to the silence, but it’s blank right now. Nothing.
A shiver of fear slithers down my spine as I step backward and collide into a body. I let out a scream just as a hand flies up to cover my mouth. “Shut the fuck up. I don’t like screamers.”
I breathe heavily, my chest falling and rising in fear. Arms clutch my shoulders as my captor spins me to face him. He’s an older man who has to be in his early sixties. He smiles back at me and my eyebrows draw together.
“President La Mont?” I suck in a breath. Fucking corrupted government.
He grins. That’s when I notice Cassia standing at the threshold of the kitchen, leaning against the frame, and smirking smugly at me.
“What the hell do you want?”
“From you? Nothing. Where’s Raze?”
“I’m not telling you shit.”
Cassia rolls her eyes and walks toward us. “He’ll be at the base, Daddy. Let’s go there.”
“Daddy?” I inch my head back. “That’s rather formal for a love child who you don’t know,” I say to the man, and cock my head.
“You got a death wish, child?” he asks, grinning slowly. “Because I have enough resources standing outside this very house to make you disappear.”
“Obviously you do, if you think you can put your hands on me,” I reply.
Cassia laughs as her elbow draws back and her fist connects with my eye. A sharp crack sounds out and my socket throbs with pain. “Shut up, bitch. Raze doesn’t give a fuck about you. When will you learn?”
I snarl at her, and the old man grips my arm tightly until I fear he might snap it clean off. He begins walking us back through the kitchen and out the front door. The sunset hits my skin instantly as they direct me toward a dark limo. Opening the door, they push me forcefully inside and climb in behind me before driving toward the base.
Pulling me out of the car, Cassia’s hand flies up to her mouth to stifle her scream. I step out of the car and see all the bodies scattered everywhere. Flies are already inching over the dead flesh and I know, because of the humidity, it won’t be long before the stench of death takes over.
As I fight the need to gag, Peter yanks me into his body and looks at her. “Pull it in, Cassia. We need to be on our game, understand?”
I look over my shoulder and see two other cars that were following us pull up behind the limo. The men get out with their weapons raised.
He nudges my head with his arm. “Focus, you little cunt.”
I swallow and watch as he leads me toward the front doors of the hall that sits beside Kurr’s house. I pray, even though I know God would have wiped his hands of me, that none of these bodies are Raze, Miles, Beast, Hella, Frost, or any of the boys I know.
“Show time.” He launches his foot through the doors, which swing open and I freeze, my eyes finding Raze instantly. His eyes are something else entirely right now, and I immediately know something is wrong. I’ve never seen him look this… dark. Once he sees the hand that’s around my mouth, he bares his teeth, and that’s when I drop my eyes to see him clutching….
Oh, shit. I’m going to be sick.
Peter chuckles from behind me and nudges me forward as Raze steps toward us slowly. “Now, now, everyone is going to need to drop their weapons right now, or I’ll put a bullet so deep in this little nun’s skull that she will be praying to God to send her to Hell.”
Raze growls and I look around at everyone, searching for Miles. Raze steps forward again and pauses by a body lying on the ground.
“You’re going to need to let her go,” he says. “Right. Now.”
Peter tsks at his comment. “Nope, that’s not going to happen.”
My eyes rake down Raze until they fall onto the body on the ground, and it’s then everything inside me breaks. A painful weeping scream rips out of my chest as tears pour from my eyes. “No, no, no!” I scream from behind the hand.
Peter grumbles, “What the fuck is—?”
I turn around, bite down on the palm of his hand, and he lets go instantly. Pushing his chest until he falls backwards, I snarl at him.
“You little bitch!” he shouts.
Raze lunges toward the man, but my eyes are locked on Miles’ empty shell of a body. My eyes blur, my head spins, and my heart feels like it’s being ripped from my chest. I keep my eyes locked on his empty, pale eyes, running toward him in slow motion, and then it happens. A loud pop sounds out at the exact moment a piercing pain shoots through the back of my neck. My hand reaches out for Miles’ hand that’s stretched forward, and my body falls while the deep black depths of my abyss attempt to suck me in. Everything that was once there no longer is. The pain disappears along with my vision, and I fall, my head landing on my arm, the final thing I remember being the tips of my fingers connecting with Miles’ and a deep chill slithering into the wound at the back of my neck.
My heavy eyeli
ds peel open and onto the blank white walls of nothingness. Everything is pale and white—the floor, walls, and everything around me. It’s like I’m floating inside a cloud. Where am I? What’s happened?
“Puddin’?”
I spin around, my eyes locking on Miles. He looks the same, in his trademark crisp suit and his hair falling tidily over his collar. “Miles?” I whisper.
He walks toward me, reaching his hand out. “It’s me.”
My hand finds his and I close my eyes at the contact. “Where are we? What’s happened?”
He looks at me sadly. “Puddin’, you’re gonna need to go back. Raze needs you.”
“What?” I whisper, and then everything comes crashing into me. Miles. Dead. Lifeless. Me, getting…?
I reach behind my neck to find it clean.
“Miles?” I cry, my sobs ripping out of my chest. “No.” I shake my head. “No, I’m not leaving without you.”
“You have to, baby. You can’t be here.”
“I’m here, and I’m not leaving without you.”
“Yes, you are,” he says with a cocked brow.
My tears continue to fall as I shake my head. “I’m not.” I wipe them away angrily. “I love you, Miles. God,” I breathe out. “You… you were the one who showed me how to love, Miles. Not because you gave it, but because you made me feel it.” I take his hand and press it against my chest. “This? You made it beat again. I love you.”
Miles smiles as a tear falls from his eye, landing in a perfect droplet on my hand. He sniffs. “You’ll always be my puddin’, but you need to go back to Raze. He needs you now more than ever. Promise me you’ll take care of him.”
“No. I’m not leaving you.”
“Puddin’—”
“No.” I shake my head and weep. “I’m never leaving you.”
Where time stands still… just for a second
I WALKED THROUGH THE DRY fallen leaves that littered the grass, my heavy boots taking me to where a piece of myself lay lifeless, unmoving—dead. To the one person who left a hole so deep inside me that it’s not recoverable. The purple, blue, and pink wind charm swayed in the gusts, the trickle of the feathers that hung off it gliding over my grazed and raw knuckles. As I reached my destination, I drew in a breath, placing the wind charm down over the pearl white and pink headstone. The final resting place of the piece of my heart I would never fucking get back. No amount of blood that had been shed, or the tears that had been poured, would ever bring her back. Ever.
Kneeling in front of the stone, I swiped away the purple flowers that were delicately laid at the base and ran my finger over the name carved into the fine marble.
“I’ve never been good at using my words….”
“‘CAUSE I FLIPPED HER ASS around and pounded my dick balls deep in her. Obviously.”
“What?” I turned toward him. “She’s your sister!’
“Foster! She wasn’t my actual sister, and she fucking loved it. Loved my monster cock.”
“Jesus fucking Christ.”
He laughed, throwing his head back and clutching his stomach. “I’m joking, man. I didn’t.” Then he shrugged. “I just fucked her in the ass.”
Tipping the rest of my drink down my throat, I hiss, “Fuck you, Miles Cavendish. Motherfucker.”
“Raze?” Amy walks toward me, covering her belly. Looking back to her face, I tilt my head and point. “What’s that?”
She looks down to the little bump and then back to me, wiping the tears from her eyes. “I’m pregnant, Raze, and Miles was the father.”
What? It would take her fucking Miles into oblivion to impregnate her. Gotta hand it to the chick though; she loved Miles with all she had. Which, admittedly, wasn’t much. I honestly still don’t know who he wanted more. Her or Blake. I don’t even know if he knew who he wanted more.
“Jesus,” I mutter, shaking my head and placing my whiskey down onto the bar. “Did he know?”
She takes a seat on the stool next to me, nodding her head. “Of course. He didn’t know how to take it, though.”
I scoff. That’s putting it fucking lightly. A kid? In this world? There’s no fucking way Miles would have been excited about that. Miles and a kid would go together about as well as ice cream and ketchup.
“Amy,” I say, inching forward. “Did he say anything else to you?”
She looks at me, confused. “Like what, Raze?”
That sneaky fucker didn’t tell her about Blake.
Shaking my head, I nudge my chin toward the bar man. “Another.”
“Raze?” she whispers. “I heard about your gir—”
“Shut up. Just….” I throw back the rest of my drink. “Just don’t.”
“She’s not waking up, Raze!” Hella boomed from across the room. A sick shade of red clouded my vision, my chest rising and falling. Flying across the room, I clenched my hand around President La Mont’s throat. His face turned purple, strained under my grip. He chuckled, his throat contracting under the palm of my hand. “You can’t kill me.”
His men raised their weapons one at a time, as if in slow motion.
Cassia stepped backward, shaking her head. “Raze, you can’t kill him! He was the fucking President!”
I grinned, my grip tightening around his thick neck. With one sharp flick of my wrist, his neck snapped, his eyes froze, and then I watched as the life slowly seeped out of them. “Like I give a fuck.”
The whole room let out a shocked breath. Gunshots blasted out across the room, coming from all angles, so I dove toward the ground, gripping onto Millie’s body. I didn’t know whether she was breathing, but I hoped, for every single motherfucker’s sake here tonight, that she was. I’d kill everyone, kill every single breathing person here, if she was dead. There’s no way I could live without her, no fucking way. I just got her; we only just established a fucking balance between ourselves. Gripping underneath her head, her long blonde hair falling between my fingers and the blood trickling from the back of her neck all over my hands in sticky weeps, I pressed my lips to her cold forehead, my hand lacing around the back of her neck.
And that’s when I felt it. The faint pulse.
“Come on, baby. I fucking need you,” I whispered into her hair. Hair that still smelled like her. Placing her head down gently, I slid her behind a pushed over table, using it as a shield, and pulled out my phone, ignoring the war that had erupted inside the room. The ringing in my ear was short-lived, when Bella finally answered.
“Raze? It’s 2:00 a.m. I know you pay well, but two fucking a.m.! You know I have Sophie.”
“Bella, I wouldn’t ask you if it wasn’t important.”
“Shit,” she replied, muffled scuffing sounds whispered in the background, and then a door slid closed. “How bad is it?”
“It’s Millie, and it’s bad—I think. Back neck wound, she’s not responsive, but her pulse is there faintly.”
“Raze, get her out of there now. I might need to call in Roger. Are you okay with that?”
“I don’t give a fuck, Bella. Meet me at my place.”
“Raze?”
“Yeah?” I prompted, the popping of gunshots lessening, proving the end to whatever was going on in here was drawing to a close, but I didn’t care. In that very moment, I needed my girl fucking safe and away from all this shit.
“I might need to operate, and you kn—”
“Shut up, Bella. I’m well aware of the consequences. That won’t happen. But if it does, you know the drill.” I paused, swallowing. Fuck, I couldn’t think about the possibility of having to bury Millie. “It’ll be taken care of.” I look down to Millie. “She would be taken care of.”
Bella sighed. “Okay, Raze. I’ll meet you at your place.”
Hanging up the phone, I stood and looked around at the fallen bodies, and then to the president’s lifeless sack of skin. Well, ex-president. Fucking love elections, but that’s not to say this wouldn’t bring a shit-ton of heat. Blowing out a deep breath, I gripped o
nto the table until my knuckles turned white.
“Raze?” Beast hollered from across the room. “Bro, this is a fucking messy situation. We’re gonna need something solid to back this mess. What the fuck are we going to do? This is some heavy heat.”
The wheels in my brain turned, but I couldn’t fully focus, because Millie’s body was paralyzed at my feet. Her beautiful fucking features had been frozen in time. All at the hands of a goddamn bullet.
“Raze!” Beast repeated, snapping me out of my daze. “We don’t have much time.”
Nodding, I look up to him. “Everyone clear out. We can make this look like it was between one piece of shit organization and another.”
Beast grinned, liking where I was going with this. “Yeah,” I clarified. “This will work in our favor. They’ll cover it, because they have to, because it’s The Army.”
“But you know the gavel is going to fall to you, whether this place stands or not, right?” Beast queried, his eyes narrowing, watching for my reaction.
What? Did he fucking think this was what I wanted? Fuck no.
“I’m prepared for that, Beast,” I growled at him. “Move. Get this scene in line, and then we need to clear out.” I looked toward Joker and the rest of The 6. “Start cleaning this shit. Take anyone out who’s linked to me.” Joker paused, his Adam’s apple bobbing under his swallow. “Now!” They all moved quickly, and I looked down to Millie, slipping my hands under her tiny body and scooping her into my chest.
“Raze.” Hella stepped up toward me, with Frost on his tail.
“Hella, before you even think about making a statement, you might wanna get that fucker away from me before I rip his fucking throat out.” My eyes remained on the wall ahead, my tone emotionless and flat. If Frost even thought for a second that he had some sort of power over Millie, I’d eradicate him.
I looked directly at Hella, and he searched my eyes briefly before nodding and swinging his head over his shoulder toward Frost. “Go help Beast,” I commanded.
Frost held his position for a beat longer before turning on his heel and walking toward Beast to help set up the scene to make it look like things came to blow between President La Mont and Kurr. Truth be told, Kurr was one of La Mont’s many enemies so it wouldn’t come as a complete shock or surprise, but we needed to get out of here, fast.